The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - Four Predictors of Divorce
1. Criticism- what is wrong with you?
2. Defensiveness- accept responsibility for at least part of the prob.
i. Everyone has some part of the problem…her side, your side, the truth.
3. Contempt- thinking you are better.
i. Acid for love, correcting grammar when you are mad.
ii. The number of infectious illness to the recipient of contempt
1. ‘I don’t want to be in the same room.’
4. Stonewalling-no cues, looks away, doesn’t move face, doesn’t vocalize
i. Men more than women
ii. Way of disengaging, way of calming down

These four things happen, even in good marriages. The difference is that in good marriages, you repair it.
i. 75% of things couples argue about are not resolvable.
ii. In marriages that are healthy, there are repair attempts.